Testimonial from a customer: "even my mom admitted it was worth the money, which is basically the same thing as proving unicorns are real."

Here follows the new, improved, spiffy Official Commissions Journal!

Come on, help out a starving artist before she has to sell her ass on the streets! I think I can see my ribs here!

Humanoid Amigurumi: 65-80 USD based on complexity of character; comes with accessories.

Pony Amigurumi: 100-130 USD based on complexity of character; comes with accessories.

The nyanscarf, yeah that nyanscarf: Currently 75 USD, open to negotiation.

Hats: 20-30 USD based on complexity.

Hand-felted Handbags: 45-60 USD based on complexity.

Sweaters or anything else: Just ask! Prices will be on a case-by-case basis.

For all commissions, please have on hand when ordering:

Reference pictures of what you want, even patterns (for clothing) are always helpful.
I take paypal only. My paypal account is linked to the yahoo! email address listed on my profile: purplegirl923@yahoo.com .
Your shipping address, if applicable. All domestic crochet commissions are mailed out by United States Postal Service, Priority Mail Flat Rate, with a confirmation number so you can track your package! That means an easy flat rate of $15! Yay!
Shipping to Canada and England costs $40. Any other countries, see below.
Of course, international shipping costs more, so if you don't live in America, Canada, or England, just note me and ask for an estimate!
When paying in installments, the first payment is due before I start work and add you to the queue; the second is due after I finish work and before I ship! I will not ship your order out until your second payment arrives in my paypal account.
When there is a queue of three or more orders, those who pay in full upfront will take priority over those who choose to pay in installments.
While the Master Planner endeavors to complete your order as soon as humanly possible, orders can take anywhere from two to four weeks, depending upon several factors (your place on the queue, the complexity of your order, unforeseen circumstances included in what is generally referred to as "life").

Other helpful information:

You pay shipping and paypal fees. Paypal's cut will be included in the total price.
It's your responsibility to give me a full, accurate, and complete shipping address. If you are moving at the time of your order, it is also your responsibility to update me with the new address. In fact, it would be helpful to give me an alternate address or two because USPS is fucktarded. It's also your responsibility to arrange for redelivery if you miss the mailman. I'm willing to bend over (backward) for my customers, but adhering to my policies and common sense will save the both of us a lot of needless stress.
It is also your responsibility to check up on the queue and the status of your order. If your order is marked completed, and you are planning to go on vacation or are on vacation, please notify me so I can make shipping arrangements. If you don't, and you miss the mailman because I decided to ship it out Express Mail while you were on vacation, it's also your responsibility to make arrangements with your local post office or have a trusted friend or neighbor meet the mailman instead.
If there is a shipping problem, or you have not received your merchandise in a timely fashion, then it is your responsibility to contact me by dA note. It is your money, after all.
If you're allergic to wool or any other fibers, tell me before I start work on your order. I'm not a telepath, you know!
I am willing to split the total cost into two easy payments, the first payable up front. The second will be expected before I ship it out.
I am not responsible for transitory damage, as things are pretty much out of my hands after it leaves the post office. I won't give refunds, but I will make a replacement free of charge, on a case by case basis. (That is, if it's a garment that doesn't fit, or if the postal service lost your shipment.)
Keep your orders clean. I will refuse to make anything sexual, disgusting, you get the picture. And no, the plushies are not anatomically correct.
If you make a commission offer and ask for an estimate, I will give you an estimate within 24 hours (or so) of getting your note (on business days) and will expect you to write back either confirming your order and notifying me of payment, or a polite "no thank you, I can't afford it at this time." There is an obscure law in the Jewish Talmud called the Storekeeper's Law that forbids you to ask the price of something you have no intention of buying there, because to do so raises the hopes of the seller in vain and wastes her time. Although I'm not Jewish, I think this law is a pretty good idea. Don't fucking waste my time.

Sending first payment constitutes acceptance of my commission policies.

"There are more things on heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy." --Shakespeare, Hamlet

Dr. Otto Octavius is mine, and here's the link to prove it!

I am Alfred Molina in dA's Celebrities Crew!

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